I always felt like winter looked nice on postcards and in books. But in real life winter has been horrible to me my entire life. I seem to always feel bad, get injured, get sick, or experience huge disasters in winter.
Which is strange I am born of winter.
Another winter is upon me and the dry cold dusty air has already sent me to the doctors once. I just finished a round of treating a sinus infection to have it come raging back as soon as the pills were out of my system.
Hot summers seemed bad but this past summer was hot and humid and my sinuses flourished, no stuffy nose, no constant pain, no stuffy ears. In fact I don't think I used more than a quarter thing of tissues from June until November. I have gone through 2 boxes in 10 days.
I just want to feel good enough to walk to work, or go for a walk. I am not asking for perfect health just relief from feeling like I can never catch my breath.
I don't want more diagnoses so being told my septum is a deviant and could be fixed with surgery wasn't great news. I had surgery on my wrist and that has lead to I probably need surgery on both shoulders now. One hip is very painful my hyper mobile side of my body. Turns out all these years I thought I was inflexible but I actually had hypermobile joints in my left hip and both shoulders. I have an unknown autoimmune disorder, I have adhd which may be the link to many of my health complaints, I probably have POTS but I have been fainting my entire life and just am used to it at this point.
Learning in your 50's that you have a mess of conditions that all should have lead to having support and knowing many of my struggles were real and I was dismissed has been its own trauma. So I wont ever become a great content creator, or a famous artist, or any of that because my body and mind work against me and some months and seasons of my life are all about simply living to the next season and hoping for the better.
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